in 2014, we moved in with my husband’s grandmother (she’s 95!) and the majority of my attention was going to my family. my girls are a full-time job on their own. luciana is 5, started kindergarten in the fall, is very much the caring, nurturing older sister and continues to be on her own path with her language and motor skills.
|luciana, november 2014|
anabella is 2 (whew, boy is she good at it!), is still very energetic and independent, and likes to challenge me. in every. single. way.
|anabella, november 2014|
gramma is an old-school italian who likes to keep herself busy doing yardwork or cooking or sewing. she calls herself lazy because she forgets she swept all the leaves off her steps only hours before, (i did a-nothing today!) and claims she is “like a baby” because we’re here looking after her and have to help her put on her shoes now. i affectionately tell her she’s our teenager because she’s stubborn, thinks she knows everything, talks back and i have to drive her everywhere.
|gramma & luciana, july 2014|
my husband, adam, is type-a, loud, generous, loyal, funny and loves to keep me on my toes.
|adam & me, christmas 2014|
luciana is my mini-me. anabella is our adam, jr. and gramma's her partner-in-crime. we all seem to balance each other out.
then there is me.
i had a few small invitation/card orders throughout the year, did some things like halloween costumes, the girls’ birthday party and other small random projects, but other than that i wasn’t really doing much. ok, besides grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, changing diapers, laundry, picking up toys, settling disputes over who had it first and other typical stay-at-home-mom-type activities. i mean, for myself. for some reason, i was convinced that i had to streamline my interests and had to have focus in order to be productive. i didn’t like how my business name (echo art and design) didn’t explain what i did so i was spending all this time trying to come up with something that more descriptive. but what was i? graphic designer? calligrapher? no title i came up with seemed quite right. i kept trying to figure out how i could rebrand myself, find my niche. creatively, i was stuck.
suddenly 2014 was over and with the new year comes a new you, right? all i heard were people listing things they were going to start, things they were going to change. i don’t like to make new year’s resolutions. if you want to do something or change something, why wait? of course my husband asked me what my resolution was and without thinking about it, i said “be more creative”. then it dawned on me, why am i trying to limit myself? why am i trying to change? why am i trying so hard to put these labels on myself? all it’s really doing is stopping me from doing, well, anything.
i have a lot of interests. so what? instead of trying to change that, i am going to embrace it. as a kid, i wanted to be a million things. in college i picked my major and then i took as many different art class electives as i could possibly fit into my schedule. the only thing i’m going to focus on is doing. it doesn’t matter what, it doesn’t matter how big or how small. i am a creative person and it’s going to find it’s way into everything i do. i may find my niche eventually. or not, my resume may just keep getting longer and longer. i’m fine with that. in the meantime i’ll just be creating. something. anything. less reinvention, more invention. and i’m going to write about it along the way.